she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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