I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
