My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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