i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
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