well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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