i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize