He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
