theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
