ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
