His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he shaved USA in his pubs
We got so high we made milksteak
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
