Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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