I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
