just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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