YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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