how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
