he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
BRING THE BAGELS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
