hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I puked a lego.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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