Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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