Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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