I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
