She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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