We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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