dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
