that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
