i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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