Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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