He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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