omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
