it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
