The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
