I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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