: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
