You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She tied me up with her honor cords...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
