It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
