I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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