I feel like I'm in dance class right now
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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