I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
