I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
