Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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