we made out on top of his cat.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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