It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
