You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
