Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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