Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
