is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
