I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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