real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
