so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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