I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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