Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
