I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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