I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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