Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
