but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
