Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
my being single is dangerous.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We don't watch enough power rangers
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
