porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
