Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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