You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
