I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
