There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
