You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
