I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
